Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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