just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
