Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Dual....:-)
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
