wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize