The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
