Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
