i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
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It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
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Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
as a side note pls kill me
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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