sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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