We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
