I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
