I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
FUCK WHALES
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
