do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize