do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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