Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
