You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
