Its about making memories worth repressing
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Randomize
