I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
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Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm experimenting with sincerity
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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