So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
