that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
