The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
