I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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