On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
