he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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