You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
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