cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize