Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I bet he comes in French.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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