Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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