So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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