my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
