I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She's the barista slut.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
