Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
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We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
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I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize