I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
