i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
