He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
