it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
