Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You were trust falling into bushes
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
