i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
im six kinds of drunk right now
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
