turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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