You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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