I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just fell off a train. Bad.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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