why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
