i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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