Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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