you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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