just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
