Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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