Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
