I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Found your dick twin last night
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
