Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
