so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
