Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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