As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
