When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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