don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
