Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
