a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
