I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He felt like a one man threesome
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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